As I mentioned in one of my previous posts last month, I took a break from my website. Like so many others, I’m also dealing with a loss of a loved one this year. What made it especially challenging was dealing with grief/loss, in addition to the demands of my second year of medical school and the leadership roles I had in various clubs at my school. Luckily, many people at my school have been very understanding and accommodating.

Dealing with loss/grief while in medical school is not easy. The work load of medical school is demanding in itself. Adding grief and adjusting to loss into that already demanding schedule can be overwhelming. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I do, however, highly recommend that you be completely honest with yourself if you are dealing with loss of any kind while in school. Sometimes dealing with the loss while trying to get through school may be too challenging, or you find yourself too distracted with everything going on. Taking a leave on absence from school might be your best choice if you find yourself in this category. By taking a leave of absence, it doesn’t make you weak, less smart, or a loser. Taking a leave of absence is actually a very responsible thing to do, since you are protecting your dream of becoming a physician and taking care of yourself in the meantime. It’s not that you are completely stepping away from your dream of becoming a physician, you are putting it on a brief hold until things get better. Before filling out the leave of absence paperwork, I highly recommend to speak with your advisors and mental health counselors at your school. They can give you a way better assessment on whether taking a leave of absence is the best choice for you to do.

Instead of taking a leave on absence, I chose to remain in school. Why? Mentally and emotionally, I was in a good spot (despite my loved one passing away). The truth is, ever since I learned about the cardiovascular and respiratory systems pathologies last year, I’ve been mentally preparing myself for when that day (of my loved one passing) came. It was painful learning the things that could/will happen. So, while learning the material in school, I was actively starting the grieving process nearly a year ago. Although I prepared for it, it was still a shock when my loved one passed. I’m still dealing with grief to a certain extent, but I have peace knowing that he is no longer suffering and that he is back home with the Lord.

Before deciding whether or not I should take a leave of absence, I consulted with my advisors and a learning specialist with what was going on. Although I was crying while speaking to them on Zoom, they were all very encouraging and understanding. When I decided to stay in school to finish the last month of the semester, they all agreed with me after reviewing my grades and talking with me. They did, however, recommend that I contact my course coordinators to see if I could push back some of my exams.

As uncomfortable as it may be, reaching out to your professors and explaining to them your situation may help you succeed, despite what happened. I heeded my advisor’s advise and reached out two of my course coordinators and explained everything to them. I’ve never done anything like this before, except when I fractured & dislocated my ankle back in undergrad, so I wasn’t sure if they would approve pushing back my exams or allowing me to have days off to go to my loved one’s viewing, celebration of life, and burial. Luckily, the physicians and professors at my school were very understanding and allowed me to take a few days off for my loved one’s events. I still had to attend the mandatory classes that fell on the other days. But again, thank God for understanding faculty members! My course coordinators also allowed me to push back a couple of exams so I can have time to study for them. I am beyond grateful for their kindness, encouragement, and for accommodating me during this difficult time.

Dealing with the loss/grief was difficult while trying to study. I sometimes attend live lectures for my classes, just to stay on top of things. At initially hearing that my loved one passed, I would start crying while in class, which made it difficult to concentrate and take notes. As a result, I ended up just leaving class and taking care of myself mentally & emotionally. There were also times when I had to stop studying because I was crying. That is the unfortunate thing about dealing with loss while in medical school. Although it’s difficult, it’s still doable! It’s very important to practice self-care during this time of loss. I actually wrote a whole post on dealing with grief, which I’ll be posting in a day or so. I highly recommend reading it if you’re struggling with grief or off you’re just curious how I’ve been dealing with grief/loss. Click here to access the post on Monday, 12/21.

In summary, although dealing with loss while in medical school presents many challenges, talk with your advisor, professors, education specialists, and mental health professionals during this time. It’s imperative to be brutally honest with yourself on how you are feeling mentally & emotionally while dealing with loss and school work. It’s ok to take a leave of absence during this time or remain in school. Do what’s best for you, but don’t forget to get a thorough assessment from your advisors! Be gentle with yourself during this time. There will be times when you can’t focus or study because you are dealing with you grief. The best way to handle this is to confront your feeling head on and deal with the grief. For the rest of the dealing with grief pearls, please read my post on it.

I pray nothing but Christ’s comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding for you during this time.