Weight Loss Journey
After having a couple of health scares at the end of 2021, I was determined to improve my overall health and wellness. As cheesy as it may sound, I waited until January 2022 (“new year resolution”) to begin my weight loss journey. To successfully get back in shape, however, I knew I needed to tackle my weight issues at its root.
How It Started
Like so many people out there, I’ve had issues with my weight in the past. When my family and I lived in the heart of the Bay Area, I wasn’t overweight at all. My family and I ate relatively healthy, home cooked meals on a regular basis. Since my mom is from the Philippines, I grew up eating jasmine rice with nearly every meal, which was fine at that time, since I remained quite active.
Once my family and I moved further from the heart of the Bay, I started gaining weight. At that time (mid to late 1990s), the area we lived in didn’t have many children, so I wasn’t as active as I previously was.
It took a little while to adjust to my new environment. Since it was the first time I moved in my life, I was sad to leave behind my friends, especially my best friend at that time. Despite eventually adjusting to everything after the move, my decreased activity led me to slowly, but surely gain weight. Looking back at it now, I was using food as a form of comfort to help me get through the big adjustment. I was by no means obese, however, I was overweight for an 8 to 11 year old.
The Dark Side
Unfortunately, I was teased for being chubby at that time. I wasn’t teased by my new friends or classmates, but I was teased by one of my own family members. This particular family member continually made negative remarks towards me when I grabbed a plate to eat and just for being overweight in general. The remarks led me to starve myself whenever this individual was around, in attempts to avoid any more unpleasant interactions.
As a result, at 9 years old, I had a warped view of how my body should look because of the bullying I endured. I became fixated on trying to lose weight so I wouldn’t be teased anymore. I can vividly recall submitting a mail order for a weight loss program booklet from an ad that I saw in Seventeen magazine at that time. I was hoping to instantly see results in my weight loss, but of course that didn’t happen.
Growth Spurt & Weight Fluctuations
My growth spurt started at 8 years old, which was around the time I moved and began gaining weight. I grew quite quickly every year until I was 12 years old. By the time I was 12 years old, I was already 5’ 11” (or 180.34 cm) tall. The chubbiness disappeared with the huge growth spurt. In fact, I was on the lower end of being at a normal healthy weight at one point.
Despite the weight loss, I still had an unhealthy relationship with food and a distorted body image. Despite already being at a healthy weight, I continued to skip meals in order to stay thin. When I did eat, it was most likely something unhealthy with a lot of calories.
Once I got to high school, I was better about eating three meals a day. I was active as a cheerleader throughout high school and even considered joining track & field and the basketball team. In fact, one of the basketball coaches approached me attempting to recruit me to the team after one of my cheerleading practices; however, I eventually declined since I didn’t want to overwhelm my schedule.
Regrettably, high school “love” and that drama it includes, in addition to unresolved sadness from past issues, caused me to turn back to food for comfort through my depression. By the time I graduated high school, I weighed a little over 200 pounds.
The cycle of using food for comfort continued through college, graduate school, and even a portion of medical school. It worsened when I was in abusive relationships, my horrific injury, and loss of family members. But luckily, I was able to lose weight. In fact, I was able to lose 50 pounds after I learned how to walk again after my injury. After regaining the weight, I was able to lose 55 pounds after leaving my last abusive relationship. The gym was my safe zone, since I was also subjected to more negative commentary and a hostile environment at home. As a result, I would spend anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours at the gym six days a week, all in efforts to not be at home as much.
After maintaining a healthy weight for four years after losing 50 pounds for the second time, I gained weight again. Since I was in graduate school at that time, I no longer had time to go on my daily three plus mile walks or workout at gym like I normally did. I was dating my now husband, who would initially cook meals for me when he could. Eventually, to save time for the both of us, we either went out to eat on a regular basis or got fast food.
A series of deaths in my family and experiencing depression caused me to lose my drive to stay in shape and be healthy. From 2018 to 2020, I’ve lost at least one family member each year. My depression was very real, which was worsened from the demands and hectic nature of medical school. Despite seeing a school counselor for my depression, I once again turned to food for comfort.
The Shift
Giving my hurt to God changed everything!
Instead of continually dwelling on the losses and the pain from my past, I decided to give them to God. I intentionally scheduled more time, in my busy schedule, to dedicate to God. During that assigned time, I spent time with Him by reading His word, praying, worshipping Him, and other ways I’ve mentioned previously in my Dealing with Grief post. By giving Him the hurt I was experiencing, He gave me His peace that surpasses all understanding. Although my loved ones are no longer physically on this earth, I know they are well taken care of since they are in Heaven with our Heavenly Father. By the way, I felt led to write Dealing with Grief post after experiencing God’s peace and comfort when my father passed away.
Dealing with past traumas and bullying were another thing I had to give to God. For some of them, I didn’t realize that I was still hurting from them until memories arose or topics similar to them were brought up. I went through several Sozo sessions for my deliverance from them. As a result, I was finally able to severe my unhealthy relationship with food. I even wrote the Changing Your Relationship With Food post after experiencing freedom.
Side note: Sozo is a Greek word that means “saved, healed, and delivered”. It provides inner healing and freedom from ALL things. It can be done with you and the Holy Spirit alone (obviously when He reveals things to you) OR can be facilitated by individuals trained in Sozo with the Holy Spirit being the star of the show.
Let’s Get Healthy!
After starting my weight loss journey in January of this year, I was able to lose 30 pounds in three months (by April 2022)! I’m by no means where I want to be, weight wise, so I’m continuing on my loss weight journey.
Changing my relationship with food was the initial catalyst for the change in my life. My physician warning me that I “had” pre-diabetes set things into motion. I had to change what I ate, since I had no problem getting back into a workout routine to lose weight. After all, I lost 50 pounds twice before. Regaining the weight was mostly due to my food choices. So, this weight loss journey is more about changing what I eat than focusing on working out.
Under the direction of my physician, I followed a strict diet for one month. I avoided anything and everything that could spike my blood sugar. This meant I couldn’t eat bananas, bread, anything with added sugar, potatoes, and the like. I didn’t have a problem with those food items, however, I did have an issue limiting my rice intake to 1-2 times a week. However, this forced me to eat more fruits and vegetables, which is exactly what I needed.
After one month, I was able to eat what ever I wanted again (within reason). I made an effort to keep track of how certain foods affected me. I continue to limit my rice, potato, bread, and added sugar intake as a result. Overall, I’m eating healthier but there is always room for improvement. I’d like to eventually maintain the the 90/10 diet plan (which isn’t an actual diet but more of a guide on how to eat) mentioned in the Eat, Live, Thrive Diet devotional.
By the way, with the healthier change in my food choices and exercise, I’m no longer in the pre-diabetes range! My blood sugar and hemoglobin A1C levels have returned back to normal!
Although I’m thrilled with this recent weight loss, I’ve made an effort not to weigh myself regularly. Why? I don’t want to focus on the numbers on the scale, but rather my overall wellness by what I’m eating and staying active.
That being said, I’ll make a second part of my weight loss journey blog post when I do eventually weigh myself again in two to three months. Until then, stay blessed!
